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A Clubhouse Script

A Clubhouse Script — Performed on June 4, 2006

compiled by Pam Fremon
PAM: From the Annual Report of the Building Physical Committee — NESFA Annual Meeting, May 1986, St. Eulalia’s Church
PAM: And Monty Wells said:
GAY ELLEN: We’ve been active! Friends and neighbors have
provided and are providing licensed work at friendly prices, and are allowing
NESFen to contribute “sweat equity” in the clubhouse.
JOE: During the modification process, many
NESFen have discovered previously hidden proclivities towards destruction and
construction, and talents for esoteric arts like nail removal, drywall sanding,
and brick wire brushing.
PETER: My minimalist tendencies have been constantly
thwarted by completist workers, whose apparent goal is to tear down completely
everything inside the outer coat of paint, and build in from there (and then
remove that layer of paint).
JOE: Time and money have been expended in
vast quantities, well beyond our original expectations, but the end seems to be
in sight. The next month should see us requesting final inspection for the
occupancy permit. Work will have to continue, but supervision and control
should fall under the Clubhouse Committee purview, with Esthetics Committee

PAM: But it all started months before that…
PAM: NESFA Business Meeting, September 1985:
PAM: For the Building Search Committee,
Rich Ferree said
PETER: MOVED: To offer $160,000 for the purchase of the
property at 502-504 Medford St, Somerville.
PAM: We went into committee-of-the-whole.
Excerpted from that discussion:
JOE: The property is a one-story store-front
building containing 3 shops: a tailor/cleaners, a small barbershop, and a
printing shop.
GAY ELLEN: The building has just under 3000
square feet of floor space. The tailor’s is the center shop with about 1950 sq.
ft. There is a main floor at street level which, when a center partition and
window shelves are removed, has about 900 sq. ft. of meeting space. The back
half of the store is 3 feet lower, but with the same roof height and is of
brick and cinder block construction. There is 1 toilet in the back.
PETER: All the large cleaning and pressing
equipment is still in the back of the building, and will be included in the
sale. The building is heated by an oil burner which also produced steam for the
cleaning operation. The building inspector suggested we sell it and put in a
much smaller one. We could heat the place on the *electricity* it draws!
PAM: And after a discussion of about 1 1/2
hours, we came out of committee-of-the-whole.
GAY ELLEN: We agreed by a unanimous vote of 38-0
to make an offer for 502-504 Medford St., Somerville, of $160,000 and giving
the E-board and the Building Search Committee the right to carry out any

PAM: NESFA Business Meeting, October 1985:
PAM: For the Building Search Committee, Rich Ferree said:
JOE: As most of you know now, our offer of $160,000 has
been accepted by the estate of Frank S. Palladino.
GAY ELLEN: Future timeline: We should pass papers
late this month or early next month. It may be possible to hold the December
Business Meeting there, and we should be able to hold the January meeting
PAM: For the Building Physical Plant (“Hammer and Nails”)
Committee, Monty Wells said:
PETER: Planned tasks of high priority and low
monetary cost include: general cleaning, roof repairs, sign replacement, alley
cleanout (including trees), foundation exposure and examination, oil & tank
removal, removal/sale of current cleaning equipment—
JOE: — keeping enough to handle NESFA’s “pressing needs”?
PETER: — plumbing and electrical checkout and repair, and
Fire Department inspection and compliance.
GAY ELLEN: Necessary modifications to the building that are
currently foreseen are the installation of a larger back door, internal
partitioning and door installation, *lots* of shelving, floor propping and
leveling, changes in decor, restroom facility and food prep area installations,
electrical supply overhaul, insulation, new siding, and major HVAC changes.
JOE: Scheduling of the preceding work will be dependent
upon budget (money *and* labor), and input from the Building Policies Committee
with regards to uses and relative importance of things.

PAM: NESFA Business Meeting, December 1985:
PAM: From a recommended policy for clubhouse cleaning:
JOE: Everyday: Putting trash in cans, cleaning up the usual
messes, lights and equipment left in appropriate condition, all objects
returned to their proper places, with reasonable exceptions made for ongoing
GAY ELLEN: Weekly: Taking out the trash on trash day, cleaning
the sink area and bathrooms, cleaning and mopping floors, scrubbing counters
and tables, and noting all major maintenance or repairs that must be performed.
PETER: Monthly: Washing windows and cabinets, dusting library
PAM: December Building Physical Report. And Monty
PAM: And Monty said:
PETER: All doors have been unblocked. The trees have been
topped off at the building roof level. Extraneous interior cabinets have been
removed. The lighting has been improved. The dry cleaning machinery has been
disconnected and removed —
GAY ELLEN: — except for 1 large dryer that is saleable, but does
not fit through any of the doors.
PETER: The steam pipes have been removed, the boiler
drained, and heat tape added to the cold water line. The roof was patched.
Significant cleaning was done to make the storage area useable.
JOE: Storage has been moved in, but not sorted out. Some
storage shelves have been erected and filled. The large motor from the cleaner
has been sold for $200. Yea!
GAY ELLEN: The windows were washed and opaqued with glass wax.
Measurements have been made and sketches drawn. The floor was patched somewhat.
JOE: Why we can’t occupy the clubhouse: Improvements are
needed before the city of Somerville will issue us an occupancy permit. All the
improvements require permits signed by licensed contractors. I have yet to meet
with the Somerville Building Inspector to find out exactly what we need to do.
PETER: Costs of removing the central load-bearing wall in the
meeting room and replacing it with a beam and posts: a contractor friend will
do the job for $125/day. We will supply labor and material. Total cost around
$425. (motion passed)
GAY ELLEN: There may be major plumbing work to meet code. We
might have to put in 2 toilets and sinks. The work would require a licensed
plumber and much crawling around under the building to get at the drains.
Motion passed: To approve up to $1,000 for plumbing renovations.
JOE: Electrical installations will be
needed — at a minimum, hard-wired smoke/fire detectors, lit exit signs and
emergency lighting. All must be contracted. Motion passed: To approve up to
$1,200 for electrical repairs.
GAY ELLEN: The last one is the biggee. We need to heat the place.
The current boiler is rated at 360 lbs. of steam, using about 3 gallons of oil
*an hour*. We are *grossly* over-steam powered. Motion passed: to approve up to
$5,000 to purchase a new heating system.

PAM: NESFA Business Meeting, January 1986:
PAM: For the Building Search Committee, Rich Ferree said:
JOE: A party will happen once we have heat
PAM: And Monty said:
PETER: Pray for a February thaw!
PAM: Building Physical Report. Monty said:
GAY ELLEN: Some jacks and blocks were placed under the
foundation. About 5 feet of ceiling has been removed to get at the roof joists.
PETER: We need to widen the rear door at the
foot of the stairs to 32". That door and the 2 front ones should swing out. We
need 2 sets of emergency lighting, one in the front and one at the stairwell.
Lit exit signs must be installed. Smoke detectors must be installed, but don’t
have to be hard-wired. The stairs have to be widened. We also need to install a
second toilet.
JOE: At some financially responsible point, we need to
insulate the ceilings, patch the floor, and hang a new suspended ceiling in

PAM: February 1986: Building Physical Report:
PAM: And Monty said:
GAY ELLEN: On Saturday, January 11, 1986, NESFA fought the
battle of Somerville, and the wall came tumbling down!
JOE: The wall has been replaced with a large ceiling beam
and 3 posts; I believe it to be appreciably stronger than the previous kluge.
PETER: On January 26, a major clean-up session was held. This
had been planned at Codclave, luckily, because we had received word that the
Somerville Fire Department had been looking with great distaste at the piles of
flammable junk we had in the back lot.
GAY ELLEN: With the aid of a rented van, 2 trips were made to “a local dumpsite”.—
JOE: — Thanks, Sharon, for the use of your name and address!
GAY ELLEN: While the van was making its first trip, most of the
ceiling was demolished. Fair amounts of plaster remain, but in baggable and trash-pickup-able
sizes and quantities.
PETER: January 27, 8AM: A phone call from Lloyd at Herb
Martel’s (the bookbinder) reported a major roof leak: water entering all along
the wall between his area and ours. About 1/2" accumulation in some areas. He reported that he had a snorkel outfit and so could survive until the afternoon.
JOE: By 3:30 the rain had stopped, the leak had dried up,
and Mark and I were slapping roofing cement on suspicious roof areas. Pray for
GAY ELLEN: The floor is being slowly raised to its original level
in the rear area by the barber, after which the decayed floor beam will be

PAM: March 1986: Building Physical Report:
PAM: And Monty said
JOE: The clubhouse was moved from the across the street
about 60 years ago, rotated 180 degrees, and set on its current pilings. This
explains much to the current settling.
PETER: We have gained new information. The brick wall between
us and the bookbinder is in good shape. The other main ceiling beam is in poor
shape. The “sealed off” gas pipes are leaking. Plumbing for a toilet was
discovered in the upper section of the building when some flooring was removed.
GAY ELLEN: The remainder of the ceiling was completely removed
and hauled away on March 1. The Framingham Reduction Center charGAY ELLEN us $1.25
per 100 lbs to accept the 3,200 lbs of trash that was generated. One more trip
may be needed after a wall and some ceiling in the back are removed.
PETER: With front ceiling removed, the old lighting has come
down. Illumination is currently being supplied by a few art show lighting
JOE: Other mechanical work is being planned. The other
ceiling beam needs to be braced, the front door will be reversed to swing
outward, the floor of the front room will be patched up.

PAM: April 1986: Building Physical Report:
PAM: And Monty said:
JOE: The other ceiling beam (the one ending in mid-roof)
has been spliced; walls pulled back to brick or studs, the ceiling insulated in
the front room, and considerable ceiling over the toilet area removed. Dry wall
has been emplaced in the front room walls across the back —
PETER: — following removal and re-studding of the hidden door
and windows –
JOE: — and the side by the barber. The now-exposed brick
wall against the bookbinder looks good.
GAY ELLEN: The outside sign has been mostly painted royal blue.
Considerable electrical wiring has been removed; other wiring has been traced.
We’ve worked out the needed circuitry, materials have been purchased at a very
favorable price, and our friendly Newton North High School electrician has
given us the go-ahead, with the stipulation only that we do it right, and that
he makes all the final connections. A Somerville electrical permit will be
applied for once we are ready to get underway (probably this week.)
PETER: The plumber (Paul Jacobs) and heating contractor (Dick
Avery) have been notified that they can go to work. Boston Gas must approve our
gas supply for the new load and install a gas mete before the heaters can be
connected; this will take time and money. The plumber recommends removal of the
current feed to the barber and installation of 2 meters (1 for us, 1 for the
barber) in the front window where the building gas entrance is, and then
separate feeds from there to us and the barber.
JOE: Paul Jacobs says we can start framing in the
bathrooms, and has given us a drawing of the proposed installation. The plan
calls for the removal of the current toilet and utility sink. The current
toilet area will shrink to become a utility closet with sink and a small
electric water heater.
GAY ELLEN: Major ongoing activities are finishing the front room
dry walling, setting up the dropped ceiling grid to allow positioning of light
fixtures and wiring, building the bathroom stud walls, reversal of front doors,
replacement of rear door, rebuilding of stairs, and general wiring. To obtain
maximum ceiling height under the slanted roof, the plan is to have a step in
the ceiling, lower in the back.
JOE: Real soon now we’ll be able to let the Esthetics
Committee decide on color coordination. (The pink walls are gone.)
PETER: Unfortunately, the Chinese-puzzle nature of much of
the work makes the rate of progress much slower than I had hoped, It becomes
increasingly unlikely that we’ll be in full occupancy for the May meeting that
I had set as a deadline.
PAM: And then Monty made a presentation:
GAY ELLEN: For Priscilla, an autographed piece of
the pink wall that had been removed, since she had expressed such great
“appreciation” of the color. And along with it, a previous tenant (a
well-preserved, dead rat).

PAM: May 1986: Building Physical Report
PAM: And Monty said:
GAY ELLEN: Progress continues apace thanks to
help from many. An additional 2 tons of trash were trucked to the Framingham
waste facility, and resorting has cleared up the 2 main rooms. Probably 1 more
trash run will be needed. Rich, Mark and I emplaced a steel plate on the
ceiling beam, and removed the middle-of-the-room post —
JOE: — Only approximately 1/32 inch ceiling sag was observed
when the post was knocked out. Most gratifying.
GAY ELLEN: — providing a notably more open feeling to the front
PETER: Both front doors now open out as required. The back
(foot of stair) door has been replaced with a large (4′ x 7′) outward opening
solid wooden door, with wired glass window, key-in-knob lock, and deadbolt,
bringing to 5 the number of keys needed for full clubhouse access.
JOE: The increased rear opening has allowed the large
rotary dryer to be moved out of storage into the parking area, from which it
will be sold or otherwise made to go away. New steps between front and rear
have been constructed, of the full width of the doorway opening.
PETER: Framing of the bathrooms is essentially complete.
We’ll soon start breaking up the floor in the bathroom area for plumbing
GAY ELLEN: In the front room, the major holes in the center of
the floor have been filled and brought up to level; some work remains around
the perimeter and at the front. Once the whole floor is essentially level, it
will probably be covered with large sheets of underlayment and topped with roll
vinyl flooring or other such material as the club decides; there seems to be a
strong feeling against keeping the current tile for much longer.
JOE: The ceiling has been positioned, and the ceiling
height determined and outlined; lights can be hung shortly.
PETER: Major pre-occupancy areas requiring time are now just
wiring and electrical outlets, plumbing and gas pipefitting. I think I’m
finally able to conclude with a “real soon now!”.

PAM: June 1986. The first Business Meeting held in the NESFA Clubhouse! Building Physical Report
PAM: And Monty said:
GAY ELLEN: You are now enclosed in my report! *Much* work has
been done – more than expected or budgeted (the term “galloping completism” has
been heard). Special thanks to all those who have worked and contributed.
PETER: Plumbing and gas fitting is done, except for a final
shift of the barber’s water feed.
JOE: Electrical still needs 1 afternoon’s work: fans,
heater units, 1 bathroom HVL, hot water heater. We’ll meet with the Electrical
Inspector. I will then meet with the Building Department for completion of
official paperwork.
GAY ELLEN: Priming and first coat of paint is done. Bathrooms
need paint. Brick needs final cleaning and sealer. Ceiling tile goes up after
electrical inspection. Gas pipes/meter will be boxed in.
PAM: And back one month to the Annual Meeting; Monty said:
PETER: The Building Physical Committee intends to
dissolve itself upon the obtaining of the occupancy permit —
JOE: — hopefully before the members of the
committee dissolve themselves
GAY ELLEN: Again, many, many thanks for the great
help we’ve received from so many members, and the long dirty dusty hours
they’ve spent
PAM: And after completing his reports, President Jill Eastlake
shook Monty’s hand to the applause of the gathered fans.
(We all bow, signaling the end.)